Friday, October 3, 2008

A Dissertation on Love

God... don't I ever talk about anything else? Well, no, not really.

So, I'm this dating website called The site's okay... but the people are top-notch. One girl had a question about the phrase "The Best Of Both Worlds" and what it meant. There were LOTS of comments and a great discussion came about from it. I felt compelled to write on it myself and then felt compelled to share it here:
From my own experience... I've been:

1. Attracted to girls as a guy.
2. Attracted to guys as a guy.
3. Attracted to guys as a girl.
4. Attracted to girls as a girl.

5. ... ... so far I've been staying within my own species.

Looking back, the one thing I've seen in common with ALL of these cases was how we felt about each other as people and how we complemented each others' lives so well.

A line from Debbie on Queer As Folk comes to mind... "Gender is just God's way of accessorizing."

Honestly, if you have the chemistry, you can work out the physics involved and then both partners have the best of each others' worlds, in my opinion.

I've often thought that perhaps the "Best of Both Worlds" meant that I was already complete and requiring nothing more. At the time, that felt very lonely to me. It was almost a "write-off" as if to say "Well, you don't really need anything else, you've got the best of both worlds... so just go have fun."

But nobody NEEDS anyone else. We CAN all survive in this world without companionship. So I found it to be a rather irritating statement when spoken from that aspect because it implied exclusion rather than inclusion.

The point is, we can choose to accept comments such as this one as admiration or as sarcasm or as anything we want. I've learned, for myself, to judge the spirit that is present when things are said, rather than what was actually said. If the spirit is good and light-hearted, there is nothing to fear. If the spirit is not, then other reactions will arise.

I guess I didn't answer the question much other than to say that for me, it depends on who said it and how they said it before I can make a judgment call. It's more of a feeling than a knowing.


I guess what I'm saying here is... Love is. Sometimes it falls apart... sometimes it comes back together. Sometimes it acknowledges boundaries (why... I have NO clue)... and sometimes it just overflows. Anyway, just thought I'd share that.


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