So today was a good day and great night. I had my review at work today. I've been with the company a year and a week now. I was nervous because I know I haven't performed to the top of my ability and there are others there that far outshine my abilities in the Dot Net realm.
Well, Ryan had nothing but wonderful things to say. He started with my attitude saying it was very uplifting and that I should keep that up. We talked about a lot of things and I began to relax and enjoy the review when I realized I had just been taking it all too seriously and wasn't enjoying it. Then it just started to fall into place. That's when he told me about my raise. I won't go into details but suffice to say that I am not at all displeased with it! It was wonderful news!
When I got home, Sadao began to ask me about the new guy he had over last night... what I thought about him and how I felt, etc. I won't say it wasn't difficult to discuss. It was. Sadao and I have been very close and for him to say just a few days ago that he misses the personal intimacy (not physical) that we used to share... and then begin to pour that energy into someone else is very disheartening. I think I understand how others in my past have felt about it too with me in Sadao's place. I am learning... not in the way I'd like but... if you don't learn something one way, you learn it another, that's for sure.
Anyway, I told him that it really didn't matter what I thought and that it was up to him. I just hope their time together is good. However long it may last, whether it be a few days or the rest of their lives, I want him to be happy, more than anything else.
I helped him with a hair project he's working on and then got ready for my first play at the Barn Theatre. It was wonderful. It's called "The Boys Next Door." It's about a man who acts as a counselor for four mentally handicapped men living in an assisted living facility. The characters were so well played. It was funny at times and heartwrenching at other times. I really enjoyed it! I know I'm going to enjoy volunteering there and, if luck has it, performing there some day too.
So, now I'm at home, alone waiting on the boys to return with Dorian. He's flying in tonight from his trip out west. It will be good to see him and to hear about his travels. Right now, I'm a little peckish, so I'm going to grab a bite and wait for MY group of mentally challenged men to come home.
Peace,
Jenna
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