Thursday, September 29, 2005

Hell Yeah!

So last night I was about to post a blog about some really bad stuff. My brain has been working overtime trying to figure out what has been going on in my life and my relationships. But as I was writing the blog, I clicked on a link a friend sent me and it wiped out my blog entry. I was frustrated. Then I read the link he sent and it screwed with my head even more. On top of that, I received another communication last night that also screwed with my head some more and so by the time the evening was through my head was pretty fucked.

I went to lay down on the couch to try to sort things out. I put in an episode of Farscape (because John's my man and Aeryn's my woman and Dargo's my... well... my Dargo). Anyway... I couldn't get all the events out of my head. That's when V came upstairs (she had been borrowing the use of my phone and computer) and asked if I was okay. I said, no not really.

I'm so thankful she was there because I started to become all unglued. There were pieces of me everywhere, really. But she guided me back to a time when things were beautiful and I finally put some pieces together that were missing from the giant puzzle... a puzzle I've been trying to complete for 7 years now.

I cried my eyes out. But it was such a cleansing, purifying flush of tears I can't even begin to describe. I went to bed and talked with Rob and told him everything I was feeling, told him what I need and what I want and finally ate crow for something terrible I did years ago.

This morning I woke up and things looked different. I can't explain how or why... everything just looked different. It's almost like Steven Wright's joke where he says that someone broke into his house and replaced everything in his house with exact replicas. It's the same stuff, but it all looks different.

I sat down at the keyboard and two beautiful melodies came streaming out that I hadn't heard before. Where they've been hiding, I don't know but I was gratified that they chose me to sing to. Then a phone call from Kowboi totally made my day even more spectacular.

This has been a fantastic and beautiful day so far and it's just barely past noon. :) Just wanted to share some good stuff. When it's good... it's real good!

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