Blah... okay... well, I spent some time updating this with all my old LiveJournal entries, Myspace Blog entries, and stuff from a website I developed and operated about a million years ago called "iamjenna.com" (I still own the domain but I haven't done anything with it since 2003).
That took a while! Is that why I'm sleepy? Naw... I'm sleepy because I'm back into Baldur's Gate (an 11 year old game that still makes me smile and still runs! today). Gonna do my best to actually FINISH the game this time.
Now I'm freakin' sleepy with 3 hours and 40 minutes left to go in the day.
My office has started using this thing called Yammer which is basically Twitter for businesses (speaking of which, I can now Tweet from my mobile phone to Twitter to Facebook... apparently MySpace isn't quite that advanced) ... so now I have to "yap" about what I'm doing every 15 minutes or so... or someone will wonder what I'm doing. ... ... ... ?!?!?!??
Mind you, they're right in wondering since at this very moment I'm writing in my blog rather than "yapping" on "yammer" about what I'm doing. Apparently my fingers, being an extension of myself, also can not be in more than one place at the same time.
Anyway... this is just a quick update so I don't forget that I exist... if you know what I mean.
Peace,
Jenna
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
La la la
Good morning...
It's 7:12 a.m. here on the treasure coast and I'm waiting on laundry to finish so I have something to wear to work. *sigh* ... So... it seems it's been another month since I last wrote. You know what that means... a lot to cover and barely any time to write it all down in. I'll do my best.
Not long after the Pride of the Palm Beaches was the very first Miami Beach Pride Festival. Naturally we went. Expectations were high, so naturally it was a disaster. Honestly, the event itself was wonderful... Patti LaBelle was even there... so it couldn't be ALL bad. No, I'm talking about the personal drama.
Thanks to certain pharmaceuticals, there was more faggotry in the air than even a thousand homosexuals could muster up... and this was not good faggotry... it was bad, evil cat-fight, bitch-slap drama crap. Who were the players? Travis and Sadao. It was a mess, truly. Without getting into FULL details, Sadao tried to jump over a railing that would have ended up in about an 8 foot drop... in high-heel flip-flops... while blasted on Xanax. We tried to stop him. He ran off, Travis chased him to get the keys and started a fight.
On top of that, Sadao's car got towed, he lost his glasses, his shirt, his shoes and his bag which had had his phone and wallet in it. Travis, on the other hand, managed to keep all of his personal belonging (including his little goodie-bag from the various vendors at Pride). Did I mention that Travis was the one who supplied the Xanax to Sadao? No? Yeah... well... it was a mess.
So, after paying $190 to get the car out of tow (this after spending $500 on his car to get it worthy of the trip to Miami in the first place) we all got in the car to head home. Tensions were high and I knew that it wasn't over yet. Three hours in the car with Sadao, Travis, Dorian and Rachel (and her stolen dog).
We didn't last that long. 5 minutes, tops, and they were at it again to where Sadao jumped out of the car and ran off. We all waited (I know Sadao and knew what he needed) until he came back. I tried to defuse the situation as best as I could... but fate had other plans. When Sadao came back, we tried to keep Travis quiet so that Sadao could vent and we could get on the road. Travis had it coming, in my opinion. Sadao was cut all over and bruised from their scuffle. Travis looked little worse for the wear. Then it happened. Travis, in the back seat, hauls off and punches Sadao (in the front seat). Sadao loses it and lunges back at Travis, accidentally giving me a bloody nose in the process. That's when I put a final end to it. Travis was staying in Miami.
We got through the car fight and then headed home. I felt like shit for leaving Travis there but was also pissed off that he would continue to pick a fight with Sadao. Here they are, friends for five years, Travis has all his belongings and Sadao literally has only his shorts left. How does someone look at their friend who has NOTHING and continue to beat them down?
When we got home, I called Travis' mother and spoke with her about it. She was on her way to get him. They showed up at around 3 a.m. to pick up his dog, cat and a few items and then back to Port St. John.
He's gone now, for good. The next day, Sadao, AJ (Sadao's bf at that time) and I went to the Treasure Coast pride here in PSL. THAT was fun! The one day I don't bring my camer and he, AJ and Frankie ALL get on stage. *sigh* We had a bit more fun that night and I finally got to know AJ. I REALLY liked him a lot... for Sadao. It's the first time I've met someone that I thought was really good for Sadao.
But if you wanted to know about him, you would've asked him about it. This is my blog so I'll get back to me.
Since Travis has been gone, it's been quieter here, for the most part. About a week and a half a go I got the chance to meet someone from Facebook. His name is Guillermo. He's really sweet and I was glad we finally got the chance to meet. I drove down to Jupiter to this little place he suggested called the Square Grouper Tiki Bar. It's a quaint little place right on the water with live music... it was fun!
But nothing happens in my life with simplicity... no no, not allowed. We got a couple of beers and sat by the water to get to know each other. Sitting on the other side of me was a guy named Glenn. I know his name because we all got introduced to each other through the "would you save my seat, please" introductions.
Throughout the course of the night, I got to know them both a lot better and we all started getting inebreiated. It wasn't long before my T came out. Glenn just laughed because he had already figured it out, having dated a T-Girl before. Guillermo was shocked (I could tell) but he didn't run and hide... he stayed. Then, as the conversation continued, I realized that they were BOTH interested. This has not happened to me in a while. I had three choices. Guillermo, Glenn or None of the Above.
Guillermo is sweet as can be. He's laid-back, secure, never been married, but doesn't have a lot of drive or passion. I got a lot of "What?" from him when I would look at him. I felt like I had to carry the conversation. In my mind, I had already figured out that although we could be good friends, he wouldn't be able to satisfty certain needs in my life. (no wink there.. just honest).
Glenn is spontaneous, boisterous and fun-loving. He can carry a conversation, he's been married before and has kids. But he suffers from a lack of relationship confidence. I only know this because I've experienced it myself and can recognize it. The thing is, I don't know if I want to invest in that because of the way my own experience with it turned out. There's no point in learning that particular lesson from both sides of the equation... I can read the writing on that wall.
So, at around 10:30 I decided to leave and walked with Guillermo out to the parking lot. He had parked at the bar's lot while I had parked at a public access lot not far away. I kissed him good night and went to my car.... .... ... where I found a flat tire. Whee! It was a Sunday night ... 10:30... I'm an hour's drive from home. I pull the spare out and it's flat too and rusted.
SOOOO... back to the bar I go where I find Glenn... texting to his lesbian friend about his meeting me. He's still buzzed and is incredibly happy to see me (go figure, right?). I ask him for his help and he says sure. I'm thanking my lucky stars for this one. We put the flat spare on the car and took my tire to a gas station to fill it with air and some fix-a-flat. Then Glenn put it back on my car. All the while, of course, the conversation is about how great a date this is... how he can't believe that he's not getting laid tonight... basically alcohol and hormones chattering at me and I wasn't at the same level... had I been... I probably would have said fuck-it to the car and gone home with him. In this case, I'm glad my cooler head prevailed. I gave Glenn and kiss goodnight too and thanked him. I had hoped that after we had become more sober we might be able to get together again and laugh at that night and see where things could go. Instead, I got a couple of random text messages with nothing else. I even asked him when we could get together again... no answer.
So, the next day I took my car to Goodyear. All four tires needed to be replaced and a wheel balance and alignment. $500. So... I'm light financially... AGAIN.
In other news, the house STILL hasn't closed because the bank needed even MORE information. But now they're saying that this month it will close. Other than that, nothing else to report. More later.
Peace,
Jenna
It's 7:12 a.m. here on the treasure coast and I'm waiting on laundry to finish so I have something to wear to work. *sigh* ... So... it seems it's been another month since I last wrote. You know what that means... a lot to cover and barely any time to write it all down in. I'll do my best.
Not long after the Pride of the Palm Beaches was the very first Miami Beach Pride Festival. Naturally we went. Expectations were high, so naturally it was a disaster. Honestly, the event itself was wonderful... Patti LaBelle was even there... so it couldn't be ALL bad. No, I'm talking about the personal drama.
Thanks to certain pharmaceuticals, there was more faggotry in the air than even a thousand homosexuals could muster up... and this was not good faggotry... it was bad, evil cat-fight, bitch-slap drama crap. Who were the players? Travis and Sadao. It was a mess, truly. Without getting into FULL details, Sadao tried to jump over a railing that would have ended up in about an 8 foot drop... in high-heel flip-flops... while blasted on Xanax. We tried to stop him. He ran off, Travis chased him to get the keys and started a fight.
On top of that, Sadao's car got towed, he lost his glasses, his shirt, his shoes and his bag which had had his phone and wallet in it. Travis, on the other hand, managed to keep all of his personal belonging (including his little goodie-bag from the various vendors at Pride). Did I mention that Travis was the one who supplied the Xanax to Sadao? No? Yeah... well... it was a mess.
So, after paying $190 to get the car out of tow (this after spending $500 on his car to get it worthy of the trip to Miami in the first place) we all got in the car to head home. Tensions were high and I knew that it wasn't over yet. Three hours in the car with Sadao, Travis, Dorian and Rachel (and her stolen dog).
We didn't last that long. 5 minutes, tops, and they were at it again to where Sadao jumped out of the car and ran off. We all waited (I know Sadao and knew what he needed) until he came back. I tried to defuse the situation as best as I could... but fate had other plans. When Sadao came back, we tried to keep Travis quiet so that Sadao could vent and we could get on the road. Travis had it coming, in my opinion. Sadao was cut all over and bruised from their scuffle. Travis looked little worse for the wear. Then it happened. Travis, in the back seat, hauls off and punches Sadao (in the front seat). Sadao loses it and lunges back at Travis, accidentally giving me a bloody nose in the process. That's when I put a final end to it. Travis was staying in Miami.
We got through the car fight and then headed home. I felt like shit for leaving Travis there but was also pissed off that he would continue to pick a fight with Sadao. Here they are, friends for five years, Travis has all his belongings and Sadao literally has only his shorts left. How does someone look at their friend who has NOTHING and continue to beat them down?
When we got home, I called Travis' mother and spoke with her about it. She was on her way to get him. They showed up at around 3 a.m. to pick up his dog, cat and a few items and then back to Port St. John.
He's gone now, for good. The next day, Sadao, AJ (Sadao's bf at that time) and I went to the Treasure Coast pride here in PSL. THAT was fun! The one day I don't bring my camer and he, AJ and Frankie ALL get on stage. *sigh* We had a bit more fun that night and I finally got to know AJ. I REALLY liked him a lot... for Sadao. It's the first time I've met someone that I thought was really good for Sadao.
But if you wanted to know about him, you would've asked him about it. This is my blog so I'll get back to me.
Since Travis has been gone, it's been quieter here, for the most part. About a week and a half a go I got the chance to meet someone from Facebook. His name is Guillermo. He's really sweet and I was glad we finally got the chance to meet. I drove down to Jupiter to this little place he suggested called the Square Grouper Tiki Bar. It's a quaint little place right on the water with live music... it was fun!
But nothing happens in my life with simplicity... no no, not allowed. We got a couple of beers and sat by the water to get to know each other. Sitting on the other side of me was a guy named Glenn. I know his name because we all got introduced to each other through the "would you save my seat, please" introductions.
Throughout the course of the night, I got to know them both a lot better and we all started getting inebreiated. It wasn't long before my T came out. Glenn just laughed because he had already figured it out, having dated a T-Girl before. Guillermo was shocked (I could tell) but he didn't run and hide... he stayed. Then, as the conversation continued, I realized that they were BOTH interested. This has not happened to me in a while. I had three choices. Guillermo, Glenn or None of the Above.
Guillermo is sweet as can be. He's laid-back, secure, never been married, but doesn't have a lot of drive or passion. I got a lot of "What?" from him when I would look at him. I felt like I had to carry the conversation. In my mind, I had already figured out that although we could be good friends, he wouldn't be able to satisfty certain needs in my life. (no wink there.. just honest).
Glenn is spontaneous, boisterous and fun-loving. He can carry a conversation, he's been married before and has kids. But he suffers from a lack of relationship confidence. I only know this because I've experienced it myself and can recognize it. The thing is, I don't know if I want to invest in that because of the way my own experience with it turned out. There's no point in learning that particular lesson from both sides of the equation... I can read the writing on that wall.
So, at around 10:30 I decided to leave and walked with Guillermo out to the parking lot. He had parked at the bar's lot while I had parked at a public access lot not far away. I kissed him good night and went to my car.... .... ... where I found a flat tire. Whee! It was a Sunday night ... 10:30... I'm an hour's drive from home. I pull the spare out and it's flat too and rusted.
SOOOO... back to the bar I go where I find Glenn... texting to his lesbian friend about his meeting me. He's still buzzed and is incredibly happy to see me (go figure, right?). I ask him for his help and he says sure. I'm thanking my lucky stars for this one. We put the flat spare on the car and took my tire to a gas station to fill it with air and some fix-a-flat. Then Glenn put it back on my car. All the while, of course, the conversation is about how great a date this is... how he can't believe that he's not getting laid tonight... basically alcohol and hormones chattering at me and I wasn't at the same level... had I been... I probably would have said fuck-it to the car and gone home with him. In this case, I'm glad my cooler head prevailed. I gave Glenn and kiss goodnight too and thanked him. I had hoped that after we had become more sober we might be able to get together again and laugh at that night and see where things could go. Instead, I got a couple of random text messages with nothing else. I even asked him when we could get together again... no answer.
So, the next day I took my car to Goodyear. All four tires needed to be replaced and a wheel balance and alignment. $500. So... I'm light financially... AGAIN.
In other news, the house STILL hasn't closed because the bank needed even MORE information. But now they're saying that this month it will close. Other than that, nothing else to report. More later.
Peace,
Jenna
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Crosswalk
Awesome!! We complain about the cross we bear but don't realize it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we cannot.
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
A Night at the Theatre
So today was a good day and great night. I had my review at work today. I've been with the company a year and a week now. I was nervous because I know I haven't performed to the top of my ability and there are others there that far outshine my abilities in the Dot Net realm.
Well, Ryan had nothing but wonderful things to say. He started with my attitude saying it was very uplifting and that I should keep that up. We talked about a lot of things and I began to relax and enjoy the review when I realized I had just been taking it all too seriously and wasn't enjoying it. Then it just started to fall into place. That's when he told me about my raise. I won't go into details but suffice to say that I am not at all displeased with it! It was wonderful news!
When I got home, Sadao began to ask me about the new guy he had over last night... what I thought about him and how I felt, etc. I won't say it wasn't difficult to discuss. It was. Sadao and I have been very close and for him to say just a few days ago that he misses the personal intimacy (not physical) that we used to share... and then begin to pour that energy into someone else is very disheartening. I think I understand how others in my past have felt about it too with me in Sadao's place. I am learning... not in the way I'd like but... if you don't learn something one way, you learn it another, that's for sure.
Anyway, I told him that it really didn't matter what I thought and that it was up to him. I just hope their time together is good. However long it may last, whether it be a few days or the rest of their lives, I want him to be happy, more than anything else.
I helped him with a hair project he's working on and then got ready for my first play at the Barn Theatre. It was wonderful. It's called "The Boys Next Door." It's about a man who acts as a counselor for four mentally handicapped men living in an assisted living facility. The characters were so well played. It was funny at times and heartwrenching at other times. I really enjoyed it! I know I'm going to enjoy volunteering there and, if luck has it, performing there some day too.
So, now I'm at home, alone waiting on the boys to return with Dorian. He's flying in tonight from his trip out west. It will be good to see him and to hear about his travels. Right now, I'm a little peckish, so I'm going to grab a bite and wait for MY group of mentally challenged men to come home.
Peace,
Jenna
Well, Ryan had nothing but wonderful things to say. He started with my attitude saying it was very uplifting and that I should keep that up. We talked about a lot of things and I began to relax and enjoy the review when I realized I had just been taking it all too seriously and wasn't enjoying it. Then it just started to fall into place. That's when he told me about my raise. I won't go into details but suffice to say that I am not at all displeased with it! It was wonderful news!
When I got home, Sadao began to ask me about the new guy he had over last night... what I thought about him and how I felt, etc. I won't say it wasn't difficult to discuss. It was. Sadao and I have been very close and for him to say just a few days ago that he misses the personal intimacy (not physical) that we used to share... and then begin to pour that energy into someone else is very disheartening. I think I understand how others in my past have felt about it too with me in Sadao's place. I am learning... not in the way I'd like but... if you don't learn something one way, you learn it another, that's for sure.
Anyway, I told him that it really didn't matter what I thought and that it was up to him. I just hope their time together is good. However long it may last, whether it be a few days or the rest of their lives, I want him to be happy, more than anything else.
I helped him with a hair project he's working on and then got ready for my first play at the Barn Theatre. It was wonderful. It's called "The Boys Next Door." It's about a man who acts as a counselor for four mentally handicapped men living in an assisted living facility. The characters were so well played. It was funny at times and heartwrenching at other times. I really enjoyed it! I know I'm going to enjoy volunteering there and, if luck has it, performing there some day too.
So, now I'm at home, alone waiting on the boys to return with Dorian. He's flying in tonight from his trip out west. It will be good to see him and to hear about his travels. Right now, I'm a little peckish, so I'm going to grab a bite and wait for MY group of mentally challenged men to come home.
Peace,
Jenna
Monday, April 13, 2009
It's Springtime for Hitler and Germany!
Yes, spring is springing in my life, it seems. I'm happy for that. A lot has been going on lately and this week is no exception. The last time I wrote was March 27th. Much has happened since then! I was mistaken on the Pride event we went to... it was actually the Pride of the Palm Beaches... not the Treasure Coast pride, that's this weekend.
The event was great! The parade wasn't until Sunday even though the website said Saturday... so Sadao got to go and see the parade on Sunday after all... which was great. On top of that, Twink and Cesar came down Saturday night, spent the night with us and went to Pridefest with us! It was great, although I'm not sure that Cesar had as a good a time as the rest of us. :) Not exactly his scene, ya know. :)
The house hasn't sold yet... apparently the bank needed more time so the closing date was changed to April 30th. So... not too much longer to wait now. I just hope this finally goes through. It's not so much the money, I've been concerned about the real property involved. It's been bugging me for a long time now. I just want to make sure someone has the property who will take good care of it since I really can't. Once that has been lifted, I don't mind going into financial restructuring to repay the remaining debt I have and get things right in my money-life again.
Things are on a more even-keel between Sadao and I again. There's so much presumption and assumption going on that it drives me bat-shit crazy at times. He told me the other day that he looked up the definition of the word "intimacy" and felt he had to apologize to me. He was thinking physical intimacy and I wasn't. Once he understood that, he realized that he too misses the intimacy we once had. I was glad to hear that! Hopefully things will continue to get better in that arena.
In other news, I am now an official volunteer at The Barn theatre in Stuart, FL! Tuesday night I'll be attending the show "The Boys Next Door" at the "Friends and Family" night. It's free to all volunteers. I'll also get to meet the people I'll be working with. Thursday I'm working in snack bar and on the 24th, I'll be an usher. I also get to try-out for the shows now! I'm excited about this as it, hopefully, represents new opportunities for me!
Later this week, we'll have friends staying with us and this weeked is Pride in Miami Beach and Pride of the Treasure Coast here in Port St. Lucie. So, this will be a busy week!!
Last week was our (not-so) "annual" mini-golf tournament here at the office. I sponsored hole 14 and turned it into a disco. I got second prize for hole design! First place certainly deserved it... QA converted their entire office into a Spongebob Squarepants wonderland! It was awesome!
Anyway, I have lots to do today and I'm goofing off here. Just wanted to post something to keep my memories intact.
Peace,
Jenna
The event was great! The parade wasn't until Sunday even though the website said Saturday... so Sadao got to go and see the parade on Sunday after all... which was great. On top of that, Twink and Cesar came down Saturday night, spent the night with us and went to Pridefest with us! It was great, although I'm not sure that Cesar had as a good a time as the rest of us. :) Not exactly his scene, ya know. :)
The house hasn't sold yet... apparently the bank needed more time so the closing date was changed to April 30th. So... not too much longer to wait now. I just hope this finally goes through. It's not so much the money, I've been concerned about the real property involved. It's been bugging me for a long time now. I just want to make sure someone has the property who will take good care of it since I really can't. Once that has been lifted, I don't mind going into financial restructuring to repay the remaining debt I have and get things right in my money-life again.
Things are on a more even-keel between Sadao and I again. There's so much presumption and assumption going on that it drives me bat-shit crazy at times. He told me the other day that he looked up the definition of the word "intimacy" and felt he had to apologize to me. He was thinking physical intimacy and I wasn't. Once he understood that, he realized that he too misses the intimacy we once had. I was glad to hear that! Hopefully things will continue to get better in that arena.
In other news, I am now an official volunteer at The Barn theatre in Stuart, FL! Tuesday night I'll be attending the show "The Boys Next Door" at the "Friends and Family" night. It's free to all volunteers. I'll also get to meet the people I'll be working with. Thursday I'm working in snack bar and on the 24th, I'll be an usher. I also get to try-out for the shows now! I'm excited about this as it, hopefully, represents new opportunities for me!
Later this week, we'll have friends staying with us and this weeked is Pride in Miami Beach and Pride of the Treasure Coast here in Port St. Lucie. So, this will be a busy week!!
Last week was our (not-so) "annual" mini-golf tournament here at the office. I sponsored hole 14 and turned it into a disco. I got second prize for hole design! First place certainly deserved it... QA converted their entire office into a Spongebob Squarepants wonderland! It was awesome!
Anyway, I have lots to do today and I'm goofing off here. Just wanted to post something to keep my memories intact.
Peace,
Jenna
Friday, March 27, 2009
It's Always Something
So... yesterday was pretty crappy. I won't get into the details but sufficient to say that just about everywhere I turned I was met with negativity for some reason. I did get one piece of good news though... my house in Orlando is finally under contract and they're hoping to close by the end of the month. The buyer is paying in cash, too... so this could work out very well. I don't know what they're buying it for and I don't know if there will be financial repercussions yet, but at least someone will have a house they can work with. That's important to me.
This weekend is the gay pride festival for the Treasure Coast. I've been looking forward to this for a while now as has Sadao. However he just found out today that he has to work tomorrow. His attitude toward life has gotten progressively worse and on top of that he's been blaming me for it. It's not been the best of times lately... but then they can't always be, can they. The question is how much can people take of what another can dish out. For me, it's getting precariously close to where I feel like I have to walk on egg-shells, keep all my comments to myself and pretty much steer clear of him... whether it activity or inactivity on my part, it just seems to upset him and I'm really over it. I miss my dear friend and would really like to know where he went... because he's not been around lately. I think it would be best for him to take some time off and just go visit some old friends of his and relax with them.
I'm considering talking to his boss about giving him tomorrow off or switching Saturday and Sunday around for him. *sigh* ... like I said in the title... it's always something. We were yelling at each other pretty hard core last night and I realized in that moment how young he really is... and how much he still has left to learn about life. He thinks he knows it all and uses his experience to take advantage of every situation he can. Mind you, we all do that... the difference (at this point in my life) is that I know I don't know it all and I'm cool with that. Eh... this has become a vent session (again) rather than a journal entry but it happens from time to time, doesn't it?
At any rate, I have no clue what the future holds and that sometimes frightens me... but for the most part I'm at peace with it. I hope it can stay that way.
Peace,
Jenna
This weekend is the gay pride festival for the Treasure Coast. I've been looking forward to this for a while now as has Sadao. However he just found out today that he has to work tomorrow. His attitude toward life has gotten progressively worse and on top of that he's been blaming me for it. It's not been the best of times lately... but then they can't always be, can they. The question is how much can people take of what another can dish out. For me, it's getting precariously close to where I feel like I have to walk on egg-shells, keep all my comments to myself and pretty much steer clear of him... whether it activity or inactivity on my part, it just seems to upset him and I'm really over it. I miss my dear friend and would really like to know where he went... because he's not been around lately. I think it would be best for him to take some time off and just go visit some old friends of his and relax with them.
I'm considering talking to his boss about giving him tomorrow off or switching Saturday and Sunday around for him. *sigh* ... like I said in the title... it's always something. We were yelling at each other pretty hard core last night and I realized in that moment how young he really is... and how much he still has left to learn about life. He thinks he knows it all and uses his experience to take advantage of every situation he can. Mind you, we all do that... the difference (at this point in my life) is that I know I don't know it all and I'm cool with that. Eh... this has become a vent session (again) rather than a journal entry but it happens from time to time, doesn't it?
At any rate, I have no clue what the future holds and that sometimes frightens me... but for the most part I'm at peace with it. I hope it can stay that way.
Peace,
Jenna
Monday, March 23, 2009
Those "Special" E-Mails
So... I get these e-mails from my mother and others that talk about the "Secret to Happiness" or "The Key to a Happy Life" and such... the inspirational messages meant to remind someone who is depressed and focusing too much on the particulars of life to enjoy the little things and remember that that's what life is all about.
Forgive me if I offend here but... this feels a little like preaching to the choir. Also, in my case, it tends to reinforce the idea that I'm not happy. The logic goes something like this: "Everyone keeps telling me to cheer up. So it must appear to them that I'm not happy. There are several indicators here (i.e. everyone who keeps offering me well-wishes). Perhaps I'm not happy after all. I must not be happy or otherwise people wouldn't be trying to cheer me up. It would be counter-productive for someone to waste their time cheering up a happy person. I guess I'm not happy after all."
Yes, I'm getting tired of people trying to cheer me up about things that just happen in life to everyone. It seems like a never-ending cycle. It's like getting "Get Well Soon" cards ALL the time ... even though I'm out of the hospital. We don't do that... so why keep sending these inordinately sappy greetings to remind me to be happy? Just dumb, if you ask me.
Now, before I step on some toes here (too late!) let me say that I know that perception is everything. If someone is perceived as being unhappy, then those who care about that someone will do everything their power to lift that someone's spirits. It's a natural reaction. So once again, the key here is perception.
I think in reality people just like to have those happy, fun interactions with each other. If someone is in a "blah" mood, or they're tired or sore or achey or something like that, that doesn't necessarily mean they're unhappy. It's a very different situation.
So how do we create that happy, fun interaction with people without being "inspirational?" Easy... make them laugh. Engage their creativity. Pique their interest. Reminding someone that a half-empty glass is the same thing as a half-full glass does little more than annoy someone. Complaints about life's mundanities require distraction or assistance with resolutions for the mundanities, not simple platitudes pulled from some deep-thinker's ass.
Challenge me! Redirect me! Either provide me with a solution that engages my curiosity or provide me a temporary distraction from that which is occupying my thoughts. The first is a more direct approach and may not always work. If you're met with comments like "I know, it's just..." then more than likely I've already solved the problem and I'm just tired of thinking about it at the moment but can't seem to motivate myself. Proper motivation should be personalized based on what you know of me... not simple catch-phrases. And again, if all else fails, treat my mind to a break for a while. I'll regroup on the issue at hand later once I've had my fun.
For my own situation regarding these inspirational thoughts, I'm trying to alter my own perception and regard these as the emotional directive that prompted the sender to send it in the first place. Yeah... I'm gonna say it... "It's the thought that counts" *cringe*
So now that I've broken the very rule I laid down for everyone else, I'll close this diatribe and get some work done.
Peace,
Jenna
Forgive me if I offend here but... this feels a little like preaching to the choir. Also, in my case, it tends to reinforce the idea that I'm not happy. The logic goes something like this: "Everyone keeps telling me to cheer up. So it must appear to them that I'm not happy. There are several indicators here (i.e. everyone who keeps offering me well-wishes). Perhaps I'm not happy after all. I must not be happy or otherwise people wouldn't be trying to cheer me up. It would be counter-productive for someone to waste their time cheering up a happy person. I guess I'm not happy after all."
Yes, I'm getting tired of people trying to cheer me up about things that just happen in life to everyone. It seems like a never-ending cycle. It's like getting "Get Well Soon" cards ALL the time ... even though I'm out of the hospital. We don't do that... so why keep sending these inordinately sappy greetings to remind me to be happy? Just dumb, if you ask me.
Now, before I step on some toes here (too late!) let me say that I know that perception is everything. If someone is perceived as being unhappy, then those who care about that someone will do everything their power to lift that someone's spirits. It's a natural reaction. So once again, the key here is perception.
I think in reality people just like to have those happy, fun interactions with each other. If someone is in a "blah" mood, or they're tired or sore or achey or something like that, that doesn't necessarily mean they're unhappy. It's a very different situation.
So how do we create that happy, fun interaction with people without being "inspirational?" Easy... make them laugh. Engage their creativity. Pique their interest. Reminding someone that a half-empty glass is the same thing as a half-full glass does little more than annoy someone. Complaints about life's mundanities require distraction or assistance with resolutions for the mundanities, not simple platitudes pulled from some deep-thinker's ass.
Challenge me! Redirect me! Either provide me with a solution that engages my curiosity or provide me a temporary distraction from that which is occupying my thoughts. The first is a more direct approach and may not always work. If you're met with comments like "I know, it's just..." then more than likely I've already solved the problem and I'm just tired of thinking about it at the moment but can't seem to motivate myself. Proper motivation should be personalized based on what you know of me... not simple catch-phrases. And again, if all else fails, treat my mind to a break for a while. I'll regroup on the issue at hand later once I've had my fun.
For my own situation regarding these inspirational thoughts, I'm trying to alter my own perception and regard these as the emotional directive that prompted the sender to send it in the first place. Yeah... I'm gonna say it... "It's the thought that counts" *cringe*
So now that I've broken the very rule I laid down for everyone else, I'll close this diatribe and get some work done.
Peace,
Jenna
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