On My Coat-tails

Not long ago a spoke with a friend of mine who claimed she was "riding my coat-tails." This meant that she's following in the same footsteps I took, but not exactly. No-one ever thinks they're doing the exact same thing someone else did, right? "Well, their mistake was xyz but I won't make that mistake." Right?

The thing that people fail to realize in situations like this is that it has nothing to do with the actions, the steps, the "how"s if you will. It all has to do with the heart and the mind. It's completely internal. This is just how it happens to work. It's never the same experience for anyone, either ... but often ends up with the same results.

I listened as she described the situation and realized that she was, indeed, riding my coat-tails. She, of course, told me how it would be different for her because of certain situations... but I believed that the end result would play out quite similar... maybe worse in her situation, I dunno.

Now, there are a few people that want me to "talk some sense" into her. Since I already know what can come from heading down the direction she's headed in and where it can lead, etc. I should s'plain it to her ... as if I have magical faerie dust that I can sprinkle on her to give her complete comprehension of things it's taken me almost 4 years to sort out.

Well, I can't do that. I won't do it either because it would be an exercise in futility and frustration. It would also go against the natural order of how we learn. It's taken me almost 4 years to get my original "self" back and it's required a lot of sacrifice and mental and emotional trauma. I'm still not 100% yet. I only know this because I'm still blogging about it. If I were "okay" you wouldn't be reading any of this shit. And you know that's true.

So... what can I do for my friend? I can do what no-one else seemed to do for me. I can be there for her when she falls. I can help dust her off and remind her that life isn't set, it isn't fated, it isn't predetermined, it isn't to serve a higher being, it isn't anything like that. It's not certainty... it's doubt. With doubt comes thought and then problem solving and then solutions in action. She's been there once before... she just forgot.

All I can do is hope that one day we're off of each other coat-tails and walking side-by-side down the same path together. That would be nice. Really, really nice.