Thursday, December 6, 2007

Lunch and Vespers

Went to lunch today with Jairo, one of my co-workers. He actually bought my lunch too (what a sweetie!). Anyway, we went to this place called Ristorante Italiano (and yes... it was an Italian Restaurant, imagine that) on Lee Vista. Great good!

He ordered their spinach and atrichoke dip as an appetizer and wow... could've made a meal between that and the garlic rolls! It came in a bread bowl and was just tremendous. They basically took the idea that all the chain restaurants had and put an Italian spin on it with garlic and parmesan cheese and carrots too.

The main course was Fettucine Alfredo with Blackened Chicken. YUM! I haven't had blackened chicken in a while. I was reminded of the first time I ever had that. It was at this little restaurant in Indianapolis called "The Jazz Cooker." I don't know if it's still there or not. It was converted from a house into a restaurant. While you ate, from time to time, the jazz musicians would walk around throughout the house playing jazz tunes on horns, flutes, guitars... anything portable, stop at tables and jam for a bit and then keep moving. It was a fun little place. :)

Jairo's a sweetie, I like him a lot. He's also a musician and composer and is working on some new music. I hope someday we finally get the opportunity to sit down and write some music together.

I managed to get one of my other co-workers to swap weekends with me regarding the on-call cell phone which means I have this weekend free now. This means I'm free to go to Miami this weekend with some friends to the Rapture party.

I've been called a party animal with the air of disdain that someone uses when they attempt to create an air of oppression and guilt upon another. I've been labeled and judged for my actions and inactions like the rest of us. I've had some time recently to really think about all this without the influence of another person feeding thoughts and ideas into my head and have come to the realization that I am what I am and it's not a bad thing. I've tried to find a solution to life's problems that suits everyone and have busted my ass doing so. I've given until I had nothing left to give and then I've stolen on top of that.

The truth is that I have learned, now, to accept myself and my likes, hates, wants and needs for what they are. More than that, I'm starting to like them again. I'm beginning to see through the clouds that swept in so quickly and changed my life so drastically and realize that I've done more for others, in general, than most EVER would.

Tooting my own horn here? You betcha. It's my horn, I'll toot it, thank you very much. If you don't want to read it, there are millions of other pages on the internet. Find one.

It's time that I make the changes necessary in my life to ensure my own survival. Others must do the same for themselves as well... but no longer at my expense. I can finally say that I have a friend that will not ask anything of me, will not require anything of me, and will not judge me by his own standards. His only request is that I do what it takes to make myself happy and out of conflict with others.

I will try, one ... last ... time ... to make this happen without injury to anyone (financially or otherwise). But as I have been taught by example to stand up on my own two feet and accept what is mine (including my responsibilities), I know that if I have to be the bad guy, so be it. If your right hand offends you, cut it off that the rest of the body might be saved. It's a VERY old-school way of thinking, but it's kept humans going for centuries.

So with that, I bid y'all a good night. Be good to yourselves and others. Sometimes that means knocking the legs out from under them... and letting your own legs get knocked out from under you, too.


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