Thursday, August 28, 2008

Settling In

Okay, this could be a dangerous thing for me to do, given my track record, but I think I'm finally starting to settle in where I'm at. I'm getting more comfortable at work, with the language, the people and the industry. My life in Orlando finally seems to be showing definite signs of death now. I'm starting to take an interest in my personal issues (financial, health, image, etc.) again (specifically with the interest in overcoming them instead of succumbing to them). In short, things are starting to normalize and settle down a bit.

I can start to foresee a future where I have a little money in the bank, bills paid and in decent standing and still have a good job with great potential for improvement, learning and personal growth.

I have no love interest in my life and I often feel the torment of the nubile youths living with me (no, they're not jail-bait). So that can be a bit frustrating at times. But at the same time, I know that the relationship I do have with them is the best it can be without the "icing on the cake" as mom would call it.

It's hard to believe that after years of self-destructive behavior, I might finally be back on the track I once started years and years ago. It's hard to believe but the evidence is clear. I've started getting organized again, I've starting purging myself of things that remind me of times when I "didn't give a shit," and I've started to revive some of my dormant feelings of self again. In short, I think my mid-life crisis is finally coming to an end.

I've hurt a lot of people during this time. They hurt me too, of course. Who started it and who is to blame is pointless to discover now. It's more efficient, productive and healthier to simply acknowledge that act of the play and move on to the next one.

I can be hopeful that the next few acts will see the return of some of the more prominent characters from the previous acts... in a much healthier and happier form of course. Or at least a few cameos. But regardless, I know what to focus on for my future.

At any rate, I need to get back to work now. I'm learning Visual FoxPro 9.0. It's a curious union of OOP and RBase technologies. Yeah, I know it's a bit late to learn these things... but it's important to understand how the billing code is written in order to be prepared to convert it to .NET technologies. I'm looking forward to that project.


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