Sunday, September 10, 2006

The Path Of Destruction

The time has come. The time has come for me to shed the facade and the beliefs of my childhood. Holding on to ideas and dreams that will never come to pass has caused me nothing but pain when the fruition of those dreams do not manifest themselves in the way I expect. So why continue dreaming? Reality is cold, hard and unfeeling. It invades your personal space, it pops your bubble, it taunts you with beauty, cheer and happiness yet all it provides is death, pain, suffering and despair in the end. Believing in the beauty of this world is simply a way to hide away from it all. I've been hiding for too long. I've moved in to the land of make-believe and well... Fred's dead, folks... King Friday is no more. It's lost it's luster, it's become tarnished and soiled and I haven't the strength anymore to keep it cleaned up.

The reality of my situation is grim and one of little hope for a future, to be honest. I brought heaven to earth for a short time... and now I welcome hell. I took a loan out on the afterlife I should have had and used it in this life. It was fun, but the time for that grows short.

And so, I re-invent myself yet again. What I will be only time can tell, but it will be a shadowy reflection of my former self, that I can assure you. I alone will bear this torment, though. It is mine and no-one elses. Perhaps, in all that is true, it really is the only thing I can claim for myself. One by one as my commitments are completed, my life will change and will be revealed in it's true form... the beauty of the dark, the comfort of the cold, the peace of the grave.

To those that I hold dear to my heart, my nature will not change as they truly know me to be. To those who don't really know me that well... there will be some shock and surprise in store for them. Death smiles upon me and life itself cowers in fear of what is to come. I bask in it's embrace and welcome the change for that is where we're all headed eventually, anyway. Perhaps, this way, I can finally achieve some peace.

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