Changed up my myspace a little bit. It's been somewhat theraputic for me, actually. Somewhere I can express my feelings with sound and visuals and not actually say anything... hoping that people get what I'm saying with what I show... because no matter what I say, it's taken in a way I didn't intended. Language is the worst fucking way to communicate an idea, a thought, a feeling... it's nigh impossible to truly express yourself that way and those who manage it amaze me... truly amaze me. I almost changed the music too ... but what I've got up there now hits me pretty hard so I think it can stay for a while longer.
I'm running late for work again but I don't really care anymore. If Dave wants to say something to me about it, he can. He hasn't said a word so I'm not worried about it if he's not. Yesterday was not a good day... there were some bright spots... Scooby called me and I got the opportunity to chat with he and KK for a bit... haven't done that in a while and it was great. They're doing so well... I'm very happy for them. :) They've been through a lot and they deserve all the happiness they get.
Yesterday I managed to do something that I thought was going to be a good thing and ended up being a bad thing. It's amazing how I continue to do the wrong thing for the right reason, the right thing for the wrong reason and can never seem to get the two lined up. It makes me a little shy to really do anything anymore. It's the beginnings of a shutdown sequence, in essence. Why should I bother if all it's going to do is cause more pain. Fuck it.
Anyway... I'm off to try to focus on some code and make some money. Whee.
No comments:
Post a Comment