Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Having Fun Yet?

So... the appraisal came in at the right amount.. YAY! I just sent in all the paperwork necessary to complete the restrictions for the loan. Hopefully with all that information we'll be okay to restructure the loan. It means paying more, but less than what the current 30-yr fixed rate is for our current OptionARM. If this goes through, it'll be a good thing. No more money bleeding. It'll actually be spent on both the interest AND the principal, like it should be. The Option ARM is a good thing if you're in a temporary tight spot financially and need the break. But once you can get out of the loan, get out of it.

The windows are done. w00t! Yea, they came to the house yesterday and finished that up. Now we need to consider the doors. Well, there are a lot of things that need to be considered, in truth, but the doors are rusting out and need to be taken care of soon. Won't be long before we have the house in damn good condition.

This is the week of the WMC. We're not there. Heh... I remember posting in my journal a few months back that I would definitely be there. It's funny how life's path can take such twists and turns that you would never expect. It's all good. I count myself blessed to have had the opportunity to experience the WMC and Ultra Music Festival, etc. It's time for a younger generation to take that on and make more out of it. I have other ideas and plans for the future now and I'm enjoying the journey of making these plans and goals come to fruition.

I was asked recently what I'm looking for out of life. The answer to that is easy: happiness and understanding. I want to be happy and to see others find their happiness. I'm willing to do whatever I can to make that possible for myself and for as many others along the way as I can. Sometimes it means having to do things that can be interpreted as being mean... that's called tough love. And it's not really as tough on the recipient of the love as it is on the lover. They are giving up the natural desire to hold, hug, kiss, whatever and are being tough on themselves by denying the other what they want. This is an attempt to strengthen the other enough to where they will be able to make themselves happy first, regardless of what someone else can provide them. No one should be dependent upon another for one's happiness. That should be something one can accomplish on their own. Having fun is easy... you just do it and don't make it bad or wrong... make it good. Heh... sounds easy right?

The other part was understanding. There's a lot of things I don't understand. I see so many things in life that the rational mind says can not be coincidence, yet how can I assume in a world based on free-will that they aren't coincidental? Cause and Effect. The hard part is taking all the effects and working out what caused them. Twink says that sometimes it feels like life is following a script. I thought about that today and thought, damn... if she's got a script, she needs to share it. I'll get a pencil with a good eraser and we'll make some changes. :) Perhaps, in a way, that's already what's going on with our lives. We see the script and start making changes to it in ways that make it better for ourselves.

Have you ever noticed people's attitudes toward phone calls from friends? Sometimes, we bitch about getting too many phone calls. And then, when someone doesn't call us, we think "That person never calls us, I guess they don't care to talk to us anymore." Yet maybe they're feeling the same way about us. Or maybe it's really a way of confirming for ourselves a feeling that we already had. I can demonstrate this algebraically. Basically that goes like this:

Person A and Person B are best friends. Person B and Person C are new friends. A meets C via B. A tries to understand what C means to B. A determines through their interpretations of C's actions/inactions that C may not be good for A, B or A+B (for whatever reason or combination thereof). A then confirms this by noting that C never calls/writes/invites out/etc. This is an affirmation of a feeling that was already there and is used to strengthen the position.

The reaction to this depends on the strength of the relationship between A and B. If the relationship is not strong, or if the relationship between B and C becomes stronger than the relationship between A and B, there will be shifts. If the relationship between A and B is stronger than the relationship between B and C, it will remain strong and steady.

This is also the way that molecules are formed, by the way. If you wanna know more, look here for some good information about the way molecular bonding works. Yeah... it's basic school chemistry... but maybe you didn't pay attention in school, didn't get that opportunity or forgot. For me, it was the latter. :)

On rare occasions, A+B+C can work. On even more rare occasions, A+B+ ... +n can work. These are called Unions in math. Remember those things where you'd see three circles overlapping and you were taught that where the two or more intersected there was a union? The union was a different entity from the individuals even though it was made up by the individuals. Made me think of an old scripture that said, "Where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I."

So... are these things all coincidence? Or is it possible that all of these stories (whether they be written, sung, played, sculpted, painted, birthed, coded, danced, computed, styled, weaved, captured, constructed, etc.) all tell the same tale. This is what I'm still working on. The understanding of the relationships between the stories. Understanding the root of the story that is being told in all the various forms and languages. Hopefully I don't have to experience the ultimate story expression before I understand it... but I somehow doubt I can re-write that portion of the script. I think it's in pen.


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