Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Past, Present, Future

This is an important entry to me. It comes after a long period of reflection. I am changing. I have become aware of the changes that have been taking place in my life, possibly for the first time. I need to record them somewhere that they might be read again someday by someone who needs them.

My Past: I started out in this life in a good home where the teachings of life and love were there for me. Those teachings were good for me in my life and yet I turned away from them. I started down a path of lying, cheating, manipulating and being everything that I had promised myself I would not be. All because of a vision. A vision I had that those who were following the path I was about to take were dying, that God loved them and wanted them home. I did not realize the danger of the path I was taking. I was not strong enough and fell into the lies and became one of them.

My Present: A true friend, possibly my only true friend, has reached down for my hand and has pulled with all her might to bring me out of the web of lies I was caught in. The very charge I had set myself out to do, she accomplished in my life. I owe her everything and yet she asks for nothing... save that I make my life count for something from this point on. I pray for the strength and clarity to be that which she sees in me.

My Future: I must answer for the lies, the deceit, the evil that has been perpetrated under this name before I can return to a life for myself. The hard road starts now. I will make it tho... I will not give up and I will not disappoint all those that have been pulling for me. And now I can make my life what it was supposed to be for the One I serve.


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