Ever Have One Of Those Days?

De-Evolving - Jonathan Coulton

I guess you’ve noticed that my arms don’t fit in my old suits
I guess you’ve noticed that I’m eating lots of jungle fruits
Anyway more than I used to
I used to be so tall and thin
Now I’m not exactly sure which phylum I’m in

And I know there’s a monkey in the future for you
And there’s nothing modern science can do
Keeping the thumb but I’m getting dumb
I’m devolving, I’m devolving
I am de-evolving

I guess you’ve noticed that I can’t sit still at dinnertime
I guess you’ve noticed that I quit my job and I learned to sign
Anyway more than I used to
I used to have a little body hair
Now I have to use a razor everywhere

And I know there’s a monkey in the future for you
And there’s nothing modern science can do
Keeping the thumb but I’m getting dumb
I’m devolving, I’m devolving
I am de-evolving

Why get so angry at me?
I don’t understand how you expect me to defend my actions
Knowing what you now know
Monkey one and monkey two
Monkey me and monkey you
Monkey see and monkey
Do you still love me
Now that I’m a monkey?

I guess you’ve noticed that I drag my knuckles when I dance
I guess you’ve noticed that I stuff a tail inside my pants
Anyway more than I used to
I used to see a movie now and then
Now I’m never gonna watch King Kong again

Because I know there’s a monkey in the future for you
And there’s nothing modern science can do
Keeping the thumb but I’m getting dumb
I’m devolving, I’m devolving
I am de-evolving

I’m devolving
De-evolving
I’m a coal miner’s daughter