Thursday, May 12, 2005

No requiem for the shells

There's a saying that goes: "In order to make an omelet, you have to break a few eggs." This is true. And an omelet is certainly a much tastier concoction than a raw egg... or even just a cooked egg. The saying is a metaphor that basically means that change may entail prefatory acts. Change. Change is scary business. It is a deviation from the norm. It's a new direction, it is venturing into the unknown. But hell, that's life, right?

But every time I've heard that particular proverb, I've thought to myself, and what of the shells? Stupid, right? Well, here's why I say that. The shell is vital to the egg. You can't have one without it. It protects the precious cargo within and sustains it. The shell itself is the guardian of that life. And when it's no longer needed, it is destroyed and thrown away without thought. That's pretty much what happens.

I've recently been involved in the dissolution of a romantic relationship between two people very dear to me. There have been multiple comments made, actions suggested, threats proffered, etc. This is all typical. It's a divorce, really. I've witnessed first-hand the toll it has taken on these two individuals and it breaks my heart to see either in pain. But where one has made an omelet, the other has been left with the shells. I do not condone anything that either has done in fits of emotional stress nor can I offer anything but my support, love and guidance to both of them. But it also hurts to see those who have shown so much affection for the one with broken pieces simply turn away and celebrate the one with the omelet. Of course, I could just be a sucker for hard-luck cases, too, I suppose. I simply can not sit by and watch someone suffer so much.

To the one who has made the omelet: I too celebrate in your happiness. But you have so much love and affection surrounding you, I know that my place right now is helping the one with the shells heal and grow. I will always care about you both the same way because my relationships are not governed by actions that fate has deemed appropriate. How can I keep such separation and yet still feel so close, some might ask? Because I know the bigger picture. I know that most of this world and that within it, and all that we apply meaning to is fleeting. Therefore only that which endures beyond this world can have meaning. Everything else... EVERYTHING else is empty and meaningless. And it's empty and meaningless that it's empty and meaningless.

I hope and pray that we can all heal and resolve the differences that our reactions to fate have provided. Some are not strong enough to deal with change without the help of others. Nature would say that that's tough titties. Natural selection, only the strong survive. I say that as spiritual amphibians, existing in both time and eternity simultaneously, we should try to be more than we are. We should try to help those who have learned a different way of life to be able to exist and live when change occurs. Especially when that change leaves them with nothing but broken shells.

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