Thursday, July 5, 2007

Recovering Lost Sectors

My analogous depiction of life continues in this installment of the diary. Today's analogy? My existence and a hard drive that has crashed.

Well, it's not a bad analogy actually. Consider that in a hard drive there are several platters (thin metal discs that retain positive and negative charges to represent 1s and 0s that, when combined and arranged can be formed to create anything), spinning at anywhere from 5400 to 7200 revolutions per minute mere microns away from heads that read the charges on the disc. If the drive heads get too close to the discs they can disperse and alter arrangement of the charges in such a way that they no longer represent the larger figure they were meant to represent.

Given this, consider the possibility that we too are mere arrangements of charges on a much larger computer system (spiritually). Each of us has a function and purpose when these spiritual read heads crash into us, our configurations (lives, physical features, careers, what-have-you) are almost irrevocably altered and dispersed in much the same way.

Now, if you don't know much about the subject of computers, read on and you will know what I know. But remember, I've suffered a head crash (wheee... take that however you like). These sectors that have been dispersed can be recovered, however they may, or may not, be recoverable in exactly the same way as before. In other words, sometimes you get plain garbage that has to be destroyed. Sometimes, the file descriptor is okay, but the data inside is messed up and you'll have to re-create part of it. That's a best case scenario, to be honest.

I'm glad to announce that the recovery of my lost sectors is going fairly well, IMO. Other applications (other lives) are being used in such a way as to help me recover some of the data I had lost. However, there are some bits (duh) that, at present, can not be recovered.

Twink and I spent the evening of the 3rd and the morning of the 4th at a couple's house who have been good friends to me. I know them both pretty well even if I haven't known them long. Twink knows them both longer than I. They have been going through a VERY rough time in their lives and it was depicted before me in two extremes... they should both be able to balance the other out, however, they are currently acting more like those magnetic dogs that, when put together one way, keep bouncing away from each other. They just can't seem to figure out how to turn around and connect.

The roughness in their lives is affecting their finances, romance, friendships and now their children. This most recent event has driven them further into their corners rather than bring them together (which it should have). I did my best to be a friend to both of them, as did Twink, and alternatively give them reasons to smile or reasons to think about what they're doing. One chose to drown their sorrows in alcohol while the other chose to drown their sorrows in anger. Both were ignoring the solution to the problem and were, instead, focused on blaming the other.

Having the rest of the day to myself, I watched the remainder of Season 2 of Weeds, thought about what my life was like, where it was headed and why, and then fell asleep after a VERY long day.

I woke up at about 3 a.m. and realized that I didn't want to be one who drowned themselves in the sorrows and woes of life and prefer to make the best of what's been given to me. I also do not want to be the one that thinks more about what others think about what I'm doing than what the situation truly calls for. If someone needs help, they should get help and those giving that help should not be worried or concerned that the medicine is too bitter. It's necessary in order to fix the problem and get that person happy, healthy and functioning again.

So finally, I admit that I still do not know 100% where I'm headed or what lies outside of the dimension we are able to perceive. It is like a 2-dimensional being being intersected by a three-dimensional being. From their perspective, they only see the 2-dimensional representation of that 3-dimensional being at the point where the two dimensions intersect. Perhaps this explains ghosts, spirits, angels, and other such phenomena. Perhaps there are 4th dimensional beings intersecting with us and we all only see the three-dimensional representation of them. Maybe we're all from another dimension and only seeing each other's three-dimensional representations. If that is the case, then maybe life IS a drug that inhibits our true senses... and there are some really good and really evil beings out there fighting for the balance of true existence. To keep us from true enlightenment. Ponder that for a while.


No comments: