Monday, October 20, 2008

Cooler Head

Okay... I've cooled off a little bit since my last post. After really thinking this through I can see that I'm in the same position with Sadao as Rob was in with me a few years ago.

When Rob and I were together, I had a habit of inviting friends over to party at our house. When problems came up (drama) I was unwilling to tell these people, to whom I had opened our home, to get the hell out. At one point, during the aftermath of one of these parties, I looked to Rob and he ordered the exodus of the party people ... or at least the ones causing the problem.

I understand now what Rob was feeling and thinking at that time. I invited these people. It was my home just as much as it was Rob's. If I had a problem with them, I should have kicked them out myself. It can be done in a nice way. Unfortunately it had to be done in a rather threatening way by that point. Cliques were created and a whole lot of he-said, she-said started going on. This is what I get for paying attention in school and not getting involved in high-school politics in high-school... they eventually caught up with me.

Now, I'm in the same situation but my role has changed. Now I'm the one looking at others taking far too much advantage of our hospitality... but I didn't send out the invitations this time. I'm wondering if history must repeat itself with me in Rob's role. Do I have to step in and lay down the law? It *is* my home too... so from one vantage point it would seem that I should. However, if I do all the work, then Sadao will not learn to do it for himself. Maybe he must learn it the same way I did. If that's the case, I fear that the relationship between Sadao and I will suffer for it. Then again, it might get stronger, who knows.

I'd like to point out that these are not "couple problems." In no way does my personal relationship with Rob bear any resemblance to my relationship with Sadao. Sadao and I are not a couple. These are situational problems that I just got away from... only to see them come knocking at my door again.

I've chosen to no longer expect Sadao or Travis to be able to contribute anything to the household monetarily. I accept that there are things they can and can not do and I've taken to calling them family, so that's that. Now, I would just ask that they help protect what's ours and not leave it open for theives ... even theives who are pretty, nice, funny, and all-around fun people to be around. (wink)


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