Tuesday, October 28, 2008

New Car on the Horizon

Well, not new... but new to me. I've had the same car for about 10 years now. It's a great car, it has survived so much (10 accidents, multiple parties, several trips to Indiana and back, etc.) and has been a constant companion through thick and thin. She's my baby.

Well, as I've stated in here before, there has been some contention between Sadao and I about the usage of the car. There's something about saying, "Until Forever" that we sometimes forget when it comes to personal effects. Once you're attached-at-the-hip to someone, the lines of "yours" and "mine" sometimes gets blurred. Depending upon what it is, the blurring of those lines can be a traumatic experience! That was the case when it came to sharing the car.

I've sought advice from friends and I've prayed about it too. The one thing that always holds true is that my relationship with Sadao is more important to me than the car. I'd rather get rid of the car than have it be a source of contention. So after much deliberation, I decided that the time is right to get a new car and sell him my old one. He's very good with the car, he's driven it enough to know it's in's and out's so I know my baby will be taken care of ... probably better than I took care of her, to be honest.

Another plus to this is that we will have two cars in the family again. Now if something happens when one of us are out and about, the other can come to the aid. If we both want to do something but separate from each other, we will be able to. So no more fighting over who gets to use the car when, etc. It always amuses me when people say to me, "Well, it's YOUR car so there shouldn't be any fight!" But it's a personal choice as to whether we blur those lines of ownership or not. I know that the quality of our lives has been richer for us being together and given our personal track records, we refuse to let anything get in the way of that anymore.

Since marriage is not on the table, we can't go at this with a typical "joint insurance" thing, which is probably better any way. So he's taking care of the insurance, upkeep and taxes for the Escort. That's all his responsibility and my car will be my responsibility.

Before anyone says something like, "Well, but what you are teaching him is that if he whines enough he can get what he wants." A. I'm not teaching him... he's not my student nor my child. B. I can honestly say that he knows that doesn't work. C. I did a lot of whining myself... it always takes two to tango so you can't just blame one person for a fight. D. He's paying for the car and taking on the responsibility for it.

So it's forward motion for both of us. I like this type of relationship MUCH more than how things have gone in my past relationships. There's the beauty of sharing our lives with each other without the expectations placed upon us by socio-religious stigmas and traditions. It may seem insane... and that's what I think I like about it the most. :)

Anyway, I'm done gushing now. :) One more point to the "teaching/learning" bit tho... if anyone's learning something here... it's me. I'm grateful for it too... with a mind like an empty sponge. :)


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