Monday, October 15, 2007

Mid-Life Bullsh*t

It's time to make a major change in my life for the betterment of all involved within it. I can not continue along this path anymore and I can not backtrack so I must forge a new road for myself. My patience has been worn thin and the first few holes in it have begun to form. It's been said to me that happiness is wanting what you have. Therefore unhappiness must be the opposite. In my opinion, that's rejecting what you have. It doesn't mean that what you have isn't good enough and you need more... it means that what you have isn't right... and it needs to change 100%.

There are some areas of my life where I find happiness. I find happiness with my friends and my interests. I find happiness (for the most part) at work. My friends always manage to lift my spirits out of the depths they tend to fall to. My interests keep me immersed in things that pass the time, educate me and give me a sense of personal accomplishment and satisfaction. My work fluctuates between interesting and majorly boring shit... but it puts a roof over my head and food in my belly. Which is exactly what it's there for.

I have been at this crossroads before and each time I've chosen to keep on the path I've been on getting more and more damaged each time I come around. Is it physical? No... it's mental, spiritual, emotional and financial. I'm not willing to go down that road another time. What I saw on this go-a-round was worse than anything I've ever seen and I won't risk another trip. For my sake and for the sake of my friends, it's time to change directions.

No comments: