So, uhm... yeah. So anyway, I woke up today feeling pretty good. There were three text messages from Sadao. He had a bad night at work last night. It sucks that he works at night and is therefore up all night and asleep when I'm awake. :( But we got to talk a little this morning... he was still awake. Nyssa asked me once what it was about him that got to me so much. I can answer that with a few lines from a song by DJ Encore and Englina called "You've Got A Way"
♫ You’ve got a way of making sunshine of the rain ♫
♫ You’ve got a way of turning ashes into flames ♫
♫ I can’t believe you’re making darkness into light ♫
♫ You’re making all my contradictions turn out right ♫
♫ You’ve got a way of turning ashes into flames ♫
♫ I can’t believe you’re making darkness into light ♫
♫ You’re making all my contradictions turn out right ♫
Or another song by them called "High On Life"
♫ You make me feel high on life ♫
♫ When I’m with you I can fly ♫
♫ I wouldn’t stop this feeling ♫
♫ I wouldn’t stop this feeling ♫
♫ It makes me feel high on life ♫
♫ Intensifies what’s inside ♫
♫ I wouldn’t stop this feeling from taking over ♫
♫ When I’m with you I can fly ♫
♫ I wouldn’t stop this feeling ♫
♫ I wouldn’t stop this feeling ♫
♫ It makes me feel high on life ♫
♫ Intensifies what’s inside ♫
♫ I wouldn’t stop this feeling from taking over ♫
Yup... that's the feeling I get. Why would I ever want to be away from that feeling? It reminds me of a time not so long ago when I was free to be me without the feeling that I was a bad person if someone else disapproved. It's a delicate balance of two things:
1) I want to be loved for who I am. This is the natural side. This is the side that people see when you wake up in the morning and you look like holy hell (in your own opinion). This is the side that comes through when you laugh at something that you find funny. This is the side that takes selfish pleasures and let's their hair completely down even if it's ratty and nasty.
2) I want to be loved for who I choose to be. This is the creative side. This is the side that puts on makeup, wears funky clothing, wears exotic jewelry in odd places, This is the actor side of us on this global stage called Earth.
Too many times, I hear people say, "You don't have to look that way, be that way or act that way. Just be who you are." Or I hear, "Why don't you put more effort into yourself and express yourself more?" LOL... can't win for losing can we?
So yeah, I look for people that don't ask me why. They just accept, believe and just be. And Sadao does that for me. So do a few others... but typically I get one side or the other from people. I love myself as I am... but I also love who I can become... and that can change on a daily basis so be prepared. :)
At any rate, I've said more than I was going to say and it's getting late... so I'm going to close this for now. Happy Fashion Victim Day everyone!
Peace,
Jenna
1) I want to be loved for who I am. This is the natural side. This is the side that people see when you wake up in the morning and you look like holy hell (in your own opinion). This is the side that comes through when you laugh at something that you find funny. This is the side that takes selfish pleasures and let's their hair completely down even if it's ratty and nasty.
2) I want to be loved for who I choose to be. This is the creative side. This is the side that puts on makeup, wears funky clothing, wears exotic jewelry in odd places, This is the actor side of us on this global stage called Earth.
Too many times, I hear people say, "You don't have to look that way, be that way or act that way. Just be who you are." Or I hear, "Why don't you put more effort into yourself and express yourself more?" LOL... can't win for losing can we?
So yeah, I look for people that don't ask me why. They just accept, believe and just be. And Sadao does that for me. So do a few others... but typically I get one side or the other from people. I love myself as I am... but I also love who I can become... and that can change on a daily basis so be prepared. :)
At any rate, I've said more than I was going to say and it's getting late... so I'm going to close this for now. Happy Fashion Victim Day everyone!
Peace,
Jenna
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